One dead, Two dead, Three dead Reavers...

Seana and Lily managed to tack down where the reaver attacks were coming from and we took the fight to them. Seems they have been holed up on some old mining asteroid or something like that and we mounted up the cavalry and went to kick some reaver ass. The colonists only took minor injuries but from what I could tell we really put the hurt to them, there was dead reavers all over the place, a lot of folks were using melee weapons since most conventional firearms won't work in a vacuum fortunately Elenor and Ariea aren't conventional. Got them from an arms dealer friend of mine and they haven't treated me wrong since. Also picked up a nice set of EVA armor from the same friend, not planning to wear that armor all the time but the little recon droid with it is damn useful. Though I bet the armor will come in handy a few more times.

Been too damn quiet other then that round here and I'm not sure I like that. Might help my friend out on some arms deals for alittle more excitment but then again last time I went in the black for any length of time all my snivel gear got blown out of an airlock. On the other hand I could always use more free weapons. Either way I still got my chain in my concret bunker to hang out in when no one is around.

Few days ago we got Lily back, she seems to be missing some of her memories but thats alright I'll be more then happy to help her remember especially if it means sitting around and petting her. Not sure what she thinks about the newest member of the disfunctional family that is the colonists here but I think she'll eventually remember and not be so affraid of Aurora, though not sure what emotions if any Lily is actually feeling towards her but its not my place to ask really. Still just happy to have her back.

Anyways been rambling for too long so gonna end this before I start talking about what I had for dinner or some randomness like that.

(Yeah...)

(so things have gotten to real, I don't want any of that and honeslty I can't handle it right now. If you want to be my friend fine but don't try to hook me up with some one or ask to be my lover or anything like that. I don't want it, I just want to hang out with my friends on whatever little backwater moon I happen to be on. Nothing more then that.)

What the hell?

What the hell is with people asking me to work with them and taking the woman who has stolen my heart? Am I meant to be alone? Is life just laughing at me? Why do people I hardly even know want me to be their "lover" or whatever?

No one knows what it's like
To be the bad man
To be the sad man
Behind blue eyes

(General is no more IC for the time being. I still wish to talk to my friends OOC or as close to OOC as we have ever talked but there is no more IC interaction for me. If at some point I decide to come back to RP I will more then likely use the samce account as its to costly to create a new one.)

I don't know.

I don't know whats going on anymore, I don't know if I belong here anymore. I don't know if I should even bother showing my face around any of you. You are all my friends and I'm sorry I've been just sitting my days away, but its been tough for me. (Also a large course load and being ill has not helped any.)

What is there to do anymore? What is the point? (Why am I even playing anymore?) Must I always walk this road alone? These are just some of the questions running through my head every waking minute of every day.

My wounds are ones that seem as if they cannot heal and though the scars may not be visible I still carry them with me. It seems fate smiles upon my misfortune as lady luck nor any other lady seems to grace my side for any length of time. I have always been alone and so it seems I will always be. I enjoy the friendships with all of you but I still long for something more, I just want some one to say to me I'll always be there when you wake.

If so many people think that life's a bitch then why does it seem I am the only one that has it bad? Everyone around me seems to be so happy and have it so easy, when I live everyday getting the short end of the stick. Some days I ask for the end but it never comes, if there is a greater force out there it must either be mocking me or have something in store for me still.

JUST TELL ME ALREADY!!! What ever I'm meant to do just have me do it so I can move on.