I don't know.

I don't know whats going on anymore, I don't know if I belong here anymore. I don't know if I should even bother showing my face around any of you. You are all my friends and I'm sorry I've been just sitting my days away, but its been tough for me. (Also a large course load and being ill has not helped any.)

What is there to do anymore? What is the point? (Why am I even playing anymore?) Must I always walk this road alone? These are just some of the questions running through my head every waking minute of every day.

My wounds are ones that seem as if they cannot heal and though the scars may not be visible I still carry them with me. It seems fate smiles upon my misfortune as lady luck nor any other lady seems to grace my side for any length of time. I have always been alone and so it seems I will always be. I enjoy the friendships with all of you but I still long for something more, I just want some one to say to me I'll always be there when you wake.

If so many people think that life's a bitch then why does it seem I am the only one that has it bad? Everyone around me seems to be so happy and have it so easy, when I live everyday getting the short end of the stick. Some days I ask for the end but it never comes, if there is a greater force out there it must either be mocking me or have something in store for me still.

JUST TELL ME ALREADY!!! What ever I'm meant to do just have me do it so I can move on.